Reflections On The State Of My Mind

A lot of people mistake a short memory for a clear conscience.  – Doug Larson

In slightly over a month’s time, I will be 59. As 60 looms, I worry about how to stay in shape mentally. I am a bit fearful that the state of my mind will gradually decline.

I know that my mind needs constant workout to keep it fit and agile. Mental stimulation is essential to keep it in good shape.

That is why I try to write blog articles as often as I can. Lately I have been racking my mind to extract as much as I can from all the memories stored inside it. I wrote the article “A Small-town Boy’s Memories Of Binatang” recently. Since publishing it on my blog, I have continued digging into my mind to retrieve more memories of my experiences growing up in Binatang. I have been jogging my memory by thinking about each shop in Binatang, the government departments, the buildings , the people and the activities that I had experienced.  It has been a most rewarding exercise as I have now listed so many things that have eluded me earlier when I wrote the blog article. In the coming days, I will write about all these things and add the new writing into that blog article to make it a very comprehensive one. I expect to be able to at least double the length of that article once I am finished.

I will continue to read a lot of books though I may need to cut down on my reading once my eyesight starts to deteriorate. I have bought so many books that I have yet to read. I find that reading really broadens my mind and gives it food for thought. It is good exercise for my mind.

Having some hobbies will help to stimulate our mind. For me, photography has been such an enjoyable pursuit.  It helps to relieve my stress and I find looking at the photos that I have taken can be so soothing and pleasing. Listening to music is another way to soothe my mind. And listening to oldies can bring back a flood of memories.

I believe that the principle of “use it or lose it” applies to our memories.  With advancing age, I cannot deny that there will be some impairment to my power of memory. Indeed, I have been experiencing some impairment for the past many years.

Bad memory

I have been alarmed on several occasions when I experienced occasional memory lapses. There was this occasion where I was saying out loud a corporate prayer for my Bible study group in Brunei about a decade ago. I said a prayer wish for everyone but when it came to the final person in the group, my mind went blank and I just could not remember the guy’s name though he was a good friend of mine. It was a most embarrassing situation. On another occasion a few years ago when I was back working in Miri, I panicked one evening when I could not find my car after leaving my office at the end of a working day.  I immediately jumped to the conclusion that it had been stolen. I remembered parking it that morning behind the office building but it was nowhere in sight. I walked around the vicinity and finally asked the worker of a Muslim restaurant behind my office building whether he had seen anyone driving way my car. He told me that he had seen my car parked near another Muslim restaurant about two blocks away.  I then remembered driving there for lunch that afternoon.  I had forgotten to drive it back as I used to walk to that restaurant since it was nearby.

It is strange that I can remember events that happened a long time ago with distinct clarity while I sometimes struggle to recall things that happen just minutes ago. I think this is what is termed as short-term memory loss. I wonder if this is the first sign of dementia.

I don’t mind forgetting disappointments, regrets, hurts and heartaches from the past as these are thieves of my joy. Keeping these in my memory is like being trapped in the past. I do not wish my twilight years to be wrecked by such unpleasant memories.

It is inevitable that as we grow older, we can become weaker mentally, making us more vulnerable to negative thoughts and fears.  It is like falling into a prison of self-pity, a prison built by ourselves. We should thus be on our guard against erecting such prisons.

That is why I always try to have a cheerful outlook towards life. I enjoy jokes. I think if we laugh often, it will also help our memory.

An elderly couple is sitting on a park bench in front of a large pond. On the other side of the pond are vendors selling all types of food stuff. The wife turns to hubby and says, “I could really go for an ice cream cone. “Hubby replies, “Well, I’ll go get you one.” Wife says, “But, you’ll forget, you better write it down.” Hubby replies, “No I won’t; what do you want?” Wife says, “Get me a strawberry cone with chocolate sprinkles.” Hubby replies, “Okay, strawberry cone with chocolate sprinkles. See, I’ll remember. “ Several hours pass and, finally, the hubby returns. The wife asks him, “What took you so long, did you get lost?” The hubby replies, “No, and I got what you wanted.” The wife opens the bag to discover a cheeseburger and fries! Wife says, “I knew you should have written the order down.” Hubby says, “What do you mean – everything is inside the bag.” To which the wife replies, “No, it’s not…look, you forgot the pickles!”

Did you laugh just now?  You did? Good!

P/s  You never realize what a good memory you have until you try to forget something. – Franklin Jones