The Lighter Side Of Marriage

Marriage is a big responsibility,

It’s about cherishing each other till infinity,

It has its ups and downs,

And sometimes in circles we go round and round.

 

Marriage can turn out to be a struggle,

It’s little wonder that some choose to remain single,

Married life can be a difficult affair,

When we get into each other’s hair.

 

Marriage can be gratifying and fun,

Things often turn out well in the long run,

What is important is a sense of humour,

And paying no heed to rumour.

 

They say love is blind,

On the two lovers it spellbinds,

Love is one long sweet dream,

Marriage is the alarm clock that awakes you from your dream.

 

Marriage is a bed of roses with plenty of thorns,

Governed by a long list of don’ts,

Bachelors know more about women than married men;

If they don’t they’d be married then.

 

It’s funny when a girl exchanges the attentions of many men,

For the inattention of one man who she thinks is a Godsend,

It’s funny when a man who hasn’t any worry,

Gets married and then feels sorry.

 

Marriage is like a cage,

It’s a word which should be pronounced mirage,

Love puts a blindfold on lovers,

Marriage becomes the eye-opener.

 

Marriage is like a phone call in the night,

Something that fills us with fright,

First the ring and then you are awakened,

You realize your sweet dream is broken.

 

Getting married is a lot like getting into a tub of hot water,

After you get used to it, you couldn’t be bothered.

Marriage is an institution,

But who wants to live in an institution.

 

After marriage some husband and wife become two sides of a coin,

Their union is like a faulty joint,

They just can’t face each other,

But still they stay together

 

The best way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget one time,

You will forever remember as long as the clock chimes,

There’s a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking,

It’s called marriage,bumpkin.

 

Before marriage a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you,

After marriage he won’t even lay down his newspaper to talk to you,

A man in love is incomplete until he has married,

Then he’s finished and buried.

 

There was this man who muttered a few words in a church ,

And found himself married and left in the lurch,

A year later he muttered something in his sleep,

And found himself divorced because of his slip.

 

A man had his credit card stolen but decided not to report it,

It was because the thief was spending less than his wife did,

There was a man who never knew what happiness was until he got married,

And then it became a regret he wished to get rid.

 

A husband and wife divorced over religious differences.,

No sermons could reconcile them despite many interferences,

For he thought he was God,

And she thought he was a toad.

 

Young guys who have pierced ears are better prepared for marriage,

They’ve experienced pain and bought jewelry despite their young age,

If nature had arranged that husbands and wives should have children alternatively,

There would never be more than three in a family.

 

Getting married for sex is like buying a 747 for the free peanuts,

Though asking for the free peanuts may drive you nuts,

Men define marriage as a very expensive way to get their laundry done free,

To women marriage is an arrangement where sweet nothings soon flee.

 

Love is entirely a matter of chemistry,

With marriage everything becomes history,

Marriage certificate is just another name for a work permit,

Marriage is not just having a wife but worries you also inherit..

 

A woman worries about the future until she ties the knot,

She believes a husband will improve her lot,

A man never worries about the future until he gets hitched,

A wife makes him realize that life can be a bitch.

 

Every man wants a wife who has good looks,

Understanding, economical, and a good cook.,

But the law allows only one wife,

That’s why temptations run rife.

 

For happy married life men who are in the wrong must immediately confess,

When right keep mum and allow her to save her face,

Marriage is the bond between a person who never remembers anniversaries,

And another who has them etched into her memories.

 

In a marriage you have two options,

That involves your emotions and your actions,

You can either be happy or you can be right,

To be happy you need to swallow your pride.

 

A wife told her husband she was a fool when she married him,

And the husband replied that he was in love and didn’t take any hint,

A woman who knows where her husband is every night is a widow,

A woman who does not know where her husband is every night sits by the window.

 

Marriage is a workshop,

Where the husband works and the wife shops,

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend,

A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

 

Before marriage, a man yearns for his lover,

After marriage, the “y” disappears when he become sober,

Marriage is a thing which puts a ring on a woman’s finger,

While two rings under the man’s eyes linger.

 

Marriage is very much like a violin,

Initially filled with uttering of darlings,

After the sweet music is over and the strings are attached,

The husband and wife become detached.

 

Love is one long sweet dream,

Filled with honey and cream,

Marriage is the alarm clock,

On your sweet dream it knocks.

 

When a man opens the car door for his wife,

It’s either a new car or a new wife,

A happy marriage is very much a matter of give and take,

The husband gives and the wife takes.

 

Marriage is when a man and woman decide to become as one,

The trouble starts when they try to decide which one,

When a newly married man looks happy, we know why,

But when a ten-year married man looks happy, we wonder why.

 

There was this man who said that for her he would go through hell,

They got married and now he is going through hell.

Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you say,

After marriage, he’ll fall asleep before you have your say.

 

Marriage requires a man to prepare 3 types of RINGS,

First is the Wedding Ring

Next is the Suffe-Ring

Finally he needs Endu-Ring

 

Marriage is an arrangement where both parties are supposed to speak and listen,

In the first year of marriage the man speaks and the woman listens,

In the second year the woman speaks and the man listens,

In the third year, they both speak and the neighbours listen.

 

Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his Bachelor’s degree,

And the woman gets her Master’s degree,

Marriage is not a word in a sentence,

It is a sentence – A life sentence!